Tag:

premed

{Logan’s transformation leading up to disclosure of his mental illness}

I recall browsing through Logan Noone’s Instagram last year, taking note of his scenic photos of the great outdoors and noticing the huge smile on his face pictured standing on snowy slopes or sitting among friends at sporting events. His profile stated he was a mental health advocate, and other than that, my assumptions of him were based on his seemingly happy and active lifestyle. Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I received a thoughtfully edited email from Logan informing me of his status as a non-traditional pre-medical student in pursuit of a career in medicine, particularly Psychiatry. What stood out and impressed me the most about Logan was his tenacity — little did I know that behind his picturesque Instagram posts was a man who battled and has since gained control of his bipolar disorder. After watching his viral YouTube video about recovering from bipolar disorder, I knew that he’d make a valuable asset to the medical community to advocate for change and reduce stigma, especially since the culture of the medical field tends to discourage such disclosures of having mental illness. Therefore, I’m excited to have Logan contribute to my blog as he discusses his motivation to become a physician and how the school shooting at Sandy Hook influenced his decision to go public with his diagnosis.

__________________________________________

“There is an old story about a blind man heading towards a well, and there’s a guy who’s watching. If the blind man falls into the well, who gets the blame? If you’re watching something you can prevent, you’ve got to do something.”

– Manoj Bhargava

It’s February of 2013, about two months after the devastating shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. The total fatalities are still hard to swallow: 20 children, 6 staff members, and the mother of the shooter were found dead on December 14, 2012. The entire world was shaken and struggling to find a reason for this senseless tragedy. The storyline seemed all too familiar: a person suffering from mental illness committed horrific gun violence.

Now, let’s rewind the clock about 8 months. I was 22 years old and newly graduated from college. While the rest of my classmates were celebrating after graduating or starting up a new job, I found myself in the emergency psychiatric ward. Two years of severe mood swings, alcohol abuse, insomnia, anxiety, and a breakup culminated in my first manic episode. I found myself overwhelmed with euphoric feelings, rapid speech and grandiose thoughts. This feeling continued to evolve over the course of 5 days with no sleep, paranoia, and auditory hallucinations.

I displayed the basic symptoms of bipolar disorder. Also, considering my family’s history of the disorder, it was pretty easy for my psychiatrist to diagnose me with Bipolar Disorder Type 1. The medical staff outlined how I would have to live my life with the support of medication, therapy, and support systems. However, the medical staff also indicated I needed to be cautious whom I disclose my bipolar disorder to. “People’s opinions could change when they find out you have bipolar disorder. It could hurt your employment, housing, or social life.”

Fast forward back to February 2013. I hardly told anyone about my mental illness, I was insecure and utterly hopeless. Images of the Sandy Hook shooting were everywhere. It seemed like the public stigma towards mental illness literally could not get any more intense.

To understand my struggle, consider that I grew up about 40 minutes north of Sandy Hook elementary. My mom is an elementary art teacher, and my father served on the public school board in our town for nearly a decade. I knew I could never commit a crime like Sandy Hook. But, because of this tragedy and other similar shootings, the public perceived my mental illness as a threat.

People with mental illness can recover, and they are more often victims of violence rather than the perpetrators. If I continued to remain silent about my mental illness, there was no way I could expect the stigma surrounding mental illness to change. I knew that I had to help repaint society’s poorly painted picture of mental illness and lead by example.

Living openly with my mental illness would require bravery, or so I thought. During February of 2013, I finally joined a mental illness speaker’s bureau and shared my Bipolar Disorder Recovery Video online. I quickly realized my expectations for being publicly open about my mental illness were different from reality. Saying that I received an overwhelming amount of positive support would be an understatement. Within two weeks, the video had over 15,000 views. The video was shared by many of my friends, reposted on numerous mental health websites, and featured on Fox News. I connected with old friends and even new people from all over the world.

I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of support I had received from my disclosure. Perhaps people are more accepting of mental illness than I expected. I originally thought being open about my mental illness would require a courageous effort. I was wrong.

Being open about my bipolar disorder is simply a logical and honest choice. 1 in 4 adults suffer from some type of mental illness. It’s only logical that our society start to recognize and accept that we all will be personally impacted by mental illness in our own life or through someone we love. The mere statistics prove that there is an incredible amount of people just like you in the world.

I’d be lying if I said living openly with my mental illness was all “smooth sailing.” Of course, I’ve met people that aren’t supportive of mental illness or its treatment. Numerous times, I’ve had people tell me mental illness isn’t real, or my medication will simply turn me into a zombie. I’ve even been congratulated that I am not violent because of my bipolar disorder. Um, thanks…

But I don’t let these negative incidents regret my decision. When I first encountered these opinions, I was furious and insulted. But now, 3 years after my disclosure, I’ve grown wiser in my demeanor. It would be naïve of me to think that a social change could occur without a few bumps in the road. Now, rather than be upset by ignorance, I get motivated by it, and do my best to change opinions through a healthy and respectful dialogue.

My openness has changed what I want out of my career. I found that simply acknowledging my mental illness allowed others to feel comfortable talking to me about their mental health challenges. There is no better reward than knowing that you helped someone also fight mental health stigma, pursue professional help, or better yet, stop them from hurting themselves.

Shortly after disclosing my mental illness, I decided I wanted to work in the mental health industry in some capacity. I felt I could make the biggest contributions to mental health if I help improve the scientific understanding of our brains and mental illness. Frustrated by my own personal experiences with psychiatrists, I want to be a psychiatrist that could connect with their patients in a more natural manner and help inspire them to tackle stigma head on as well. With that in mind, I am currently preparing to apply to medical school in 2016.

Being open about my mental illness helped me find my own inspiration, passion, and drive. I couldn’t simply be a bystander to a problem I knew I could help fix. That’s my style.

For more info on Logan Noone, check out his YouTube Videos below. You can also find him on Instagram.

Bipolar Disorder Recovery Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvdrFowzG94

Sacramento NAMI Walk Speech 2013: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRKQSyPYIEE

November 17, 2015 5 comments

Medicine

5 Things I Would Tell My Pre-Med Self

written by freudandfashion

Whenever I receive emails and comments from pre-medical students, I reminisce of my ambitious years in college. The most common questions I receive pertain to advice on how to become a standout applicant in order to get accepted into medical school. I’ve mentioned this before in a previous post — I did not perceive myself as a standout applicant (my combined GPA and MCAT scores were below average compared to other applicants). When I started receiving emails from students, I initially felt unqualified to provide advice due to my grades and test scores. Then, I later realized that I can be a motivating source for the nontraditional applicant and those who may not be the most gifted and top ranked in their class. Therefore, I thought I’d do a spin on the email questions I receive by providing advice that I would tell my pre-med self. I obviously wouldn’t change any decisions that I’ve made because each step has led me to the place of satisfaction that I experience in my career today. Yet, being a practicing physician for the last three years, the following are a few things that could have provided a sense of reassurance during my pursuit of a career in medicine.

1. Even if you perform horribly on the Medical College Admission Test (MCAT), don’t give up.

I don’t think there’s any one formula for getting into medical school, but in general, having a competitive GPA and top MCAT scores obviously increases your chances. Unfortunately, I didn’t fall into the category of being among the more competitive applicants, but I applied anyway. I will say that in my experience, I took the MCAT twice and my second exam scores were not that much better than my first, but I still applied in hopes that my personal statement, experiences, and extracurricular activities may compensate a bit. I was honestly surprised to receive several interviews across the country (MD and DO schools). During interviews, I was asked the reason why I took the test twice, and was honest in my response regarding the circumstances that contributed to my low test scores. Ultimately, I was accepted into two osteopathic medical schools.

2. Don’t listen to those who discourage going to an Osteopathic Medical School.

While applying for medical school, I thoroughly researched the differences between being an MD (Doctor of Medicine) and a DO (Doctor of Osteopathic Medicine). Initially, I was only going to apply to MD schools because I was discouraged by fellow pre-med students and forums were terribly biased towards MD schools. I decided to apply to both because I liked the osteopathic philosophy and felt that ultimately my main goal was to become a physician and didn’t care whether that meant having “MD” or “DO” at the end of my name. Essentially I went the full osteopathic route by attending an osteopathic medical school (Western University of Health Sciences College of Osteopathic Medicine of the Pacific), osteopathic internship (Post-Graduate Year 1), and osteopathic psychiatry residency program (Samaritan Mental Health). Due to the information found in forums, I worried a bit about coming off as inferior by becoming a DO instead of an MD, but I turned out just fine, am a proud DO, and feel well-respected by my peers and the medical community. For more info regarding the differences between the MD and DO degree, check out my post here.

3. It’s more about the quality than quantity when it comes to extracurricular and medical-related experiences that you participate in as a pre-med.

If I could say I excelled at one thing as a pre-med student, it was participation in extracurricular activities. I think I knew in the back of my mind that my grades and test scores alone wouldn’t get me into medical school (plus, I wasn’t 100% sure that I wanted to be a doctor until my junior year in college when applications were due. See #4 below), so I focused my energy on ways to strengthen my application and decide whether or not becoming a physician was the career for me. If I could go back in time, I would’ve participated in less activities in order to prioritize more time to relax and study. Because I’m someone who enjoys staying active and involved — in addition to my full-time course-load, I also volunteered in several hospital departments, worked as a lab assistant, volunteered at a homeless shelter, mentored youth in the community, worked as a researcher for more than two years, was an active member in several clubs and a sorority, worked part-time at a bookstore, among other things. When it came time to apply, I listed all of my activities in my medical school application, but mainly focused on two of the most meaningful activities in my personal statement. During interviews, I was also asked to discuss the one medical-related experience that demonstrated my commitment to a career in medicine.

4. You may be pre-med because your traditional family expects you to become a doctor, but if you change your mind and pursue a different career path, they’ll understand.

I’m sure several students can identify with the pressures to become the shining, admired physician that our high-achieving families expect us to be. My family, especially my grandfather (who was my role model), pretty much implanted in my mind as a child that I was meant to become a physician. In the Philippines, physicians are held with such high regard and status. As the oldest of >30 grandchildren, my grandfather invested a lot of time and energy on educating me at an early age (I started reading when I was 5 years old, taught to write in cursive when I was 7 years old, and had daily home study sessions with him after school, etc), so I didn’t want to disappoint him once the time came to choose my career path in college. I truly wanted to be a broadcast journalist, but decided to apply for medical school after my grandfather passed away from cancer during my junior year. After I performed poorly on several exams during my first year of medical school, I blamed my family and parents for forcing me to go into medicine. I feared telling them that I wanted to quit, but when I failed a practical exam, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Their response shocked me when they told me that all they want is for me to be happy and that they’re proud of me no matter which field I chose. All these years, I was afraid to tell my parents and never gave them a chance to show how understanding they truly can be.

5. Don’t feel guilty about taking time off after college before attending medical school.

If you were to go straight into medical school after college, you would have a total of at least 24 years of straight education before you graduate residency and become a practicing physician (kindergarten through 12th grade + 4 years undergraduate education + 4 years medical school + at least 3 years of residency). After I graduated from residency, I felt like a fish out of water because my comfort zone and all I’ve known my entire life was to be a student. Personal development is delayed during medical school (since education consumes so much time and becomes top priority), so taking time off for a few years in the grand scheme of things will not hinder you in any way. I initially felt guilty for taking one year off after college because I thought that taking time off rather than going straight into medical school demonstrated a lack of determination. Looking back, I don’t regret it one bit. Oftentimes, our education and future careers become our identity, which ultimately results in less time spent engaging in enjoyable activities and connecting with those who make us happy. With the grueling years of medical training ahead, try to prioritize time for yourself to grow as a well-rounded individual rather than devoting 100% of the time solely towards your career.

Photo by Marlon Santos

November 6, 2015 19 comments

Personal Psychiatry

Open Doors

written by freudandfashion

Up until a few years ago when I graduated from residency, life appeared to have a linear, predictable path: obtain high school diploma, finish undergraduate degree, get accepted into medical school, graduate from residency, secure a well-paid job as a psychiatrist.

Yet, throughout the entire process, I encountered several challenging experiences trying to adjust to each new phase. When I moved away from home for college, I was so excited to live with four girlfriends and finally feel independent enough to lead an exciting college life. However, I can vividly recall the day my parents helped me move and when they left, I cried. For several days, all I wanted to do was isolate in my room. Eventually, I became more comfortable with my living situation and newfound independence, but my initial desire was to flee back home as often as possible.

For medical school, I was fortunate to get accepted into a school within 30 minutes from my hometown, so I was familiar with the area and lived with family that first year while adjusting to the grueling academic demands. It was so nice to come home to a hearty meal prepared by my grandmother or aunt after a full day of lectures, anatomy lab, and studying.

However, when I moved away to Oregon for residency (a state I never even visited let alone knew anybody who lived there), I felt extremely lonely and isolated. At some point, my program director suggested that I see a psychiatrist because I wasn’t performing very well on tests. I felt like a failure. Yet, finally realizing that I needed help was when I started to evaluate myself in order to create change. It’s the time that blogging became an outlet for social support and connection that I felt was missing at that point in time. It was the period of my life when I became more self-aware, made long-lasting friendships, discovered my leadership ability, and became chief resident. Such a pivotal point in my life motivated me to evaluate myself and discover my resiliency based on how I overcame my struggles.

When I rotated at the student psychological center at the local university, I saw several patients who struggled with transitioning to college life. I completely identified with them. I currently have several patients going through major changes (divorce, moving away for school, starting a new job, recently losing their job, getting married, expecting their first child, etc). I emphatically listen and validate their experiences — going through life change WILL challenge your usual ways of coping (ie, one may cope by isolating, keeping thoughts to themselves, working out at the gym more, confiding in a friend, etc). And sometimes, depending on the stressor, the usual copings skills may not be enough to overcome the challenge.

And here lies the dilemma — Even the most linear path in life has its challenges. Do you face the challenge head on, or do you recognize your limitations and choose a different path, or do you justify ways to avoid the situation altogether?

Photo by Marlon Santos

July 15, 2015 11 comments

Psychiatry

Psychiatry Specialty of Choice

written by freudandfashion

{Miami Beach, Florida}

Though I graduated from psychiatry residency three years ago and am fully employed, I continue to receive email notifications and phone calls about Psychiatrist job openings on a daily basis. Though I typically get annoyed by the regular phone calls and messages, a part of me feels thankful that I have a lucrative career in such high demand with job openings readily available if needed, however, a part of me also can’t help but question why there’s such a shortage in psychiatrists to fill the positions. I wrote a previous post on reasons why Psychiatry is an amazing specialty to choose, but if any current premed or medical students have any questions/concerns about the field of Psychiatry, I’d love to connect with you and answer any questions you may have. The field of Psychiatry is extremely rewarding and I’d do anything I could to promote it because there’s so many people in need of psychiatric services.

Thought of the Day: TO ALL PREMED, FUTURE DOCTORS, & MEDICAL STUDENTS — Is Psychiatry on your radar as a possible specialty? And if not, would love to hear the reason why as well! Comment below or email me at freudandfashion@gmail.com.

June 11, 2015 10 comments

Psychiatry

Contemplating Psychiatry?

written by freudandfashion

As the 3rd year of medical school approaches, medical students typically narrow down their specialties of choice, and if unsure, feel rather overwhelmed since the decision practically solidifies their field of practice for the rest of their careers (though yes, it is possible to switch specialties during training). Did I know at birth that I wanted to become a psychiatrist? Absolutely not. I went through my first two years of medical school wondering when the light bulb in my head would go off as to which specialty I was destined to go into. Then, it finally hit me — I’m meant to become a cardiologist! Well, that idea was short-lived once I became aware of the required six years of training after medical school (much respect to the cardiologists out there). Fortunately, I discovered Psychiatry, which is the one specialty where I actually felt motivated to go above and beyond to learn more and felt passionate about!

If Psychiatry is listed among your options, then the following are reasons I believe Psychiatry is an amazing specialty to choose:

Psychiatrists are in high demand. There will truly never be enough psychiatrists to meet the current and growing needs, which means more job opportunities and lucrative possibilities to create your own practice.
Psychiatrists in the United States make a mean annual income of $182,700 (US Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2014). Sure, Medscape notes this number ranks at the bottom third compared to the annual income of other specialties, but if lifestyle and job satisfaction are factored in, the ranking can be considered insignificant (see next bullet point). In Australia, psychiatry is found to be one of the best financially rewarding careers.
Lifestyle can be catered to your preference. I currently work part-time and know several psychiatrists working part-time who feel content with their flexible schedules. One of my friends practices telepsychiatry in the comfort of her own home, which has been perfect for raising her growing family.
Establish your niche or dabble in different areas. Several psychiatrists have their own solo practice, yet are able to divide their time into percentages working with other health organizations, academia/teaching, treatment centers, etc. And when establishing your own niche, your expertise working with specific populations can be highly sought after (for example, I was mentored by various specialists including a bipolar disorder specialist, sports psychiatrist, developmental disabilities specialist, psychoanalytic psychiatrist…the list goes on). I’m still trying to establish my own niche (I have way too many interests)!
There are multiple subspecialties (including child/adolescent, geriatric, consultation/liaison, sports, forensic, pain management).
If having a private practice is the goal, then the cost for equipment is minimal compared to other specialties (after all, the main instrument needed to practice is yourself).
Many opportunities exist for research, especially since there is much left to be learned about the brain.
Multiple settings exist for work: outpatient, inpatient, ER psych, community mental health, academia, college/university/student health, Veterans Administration, residential treatment centers, subacute treatment centers, drug detox and rehabilitation centers, consultation, Assertive Community Treatment (ACT) model, telepsychiatry, correctional system, etc.
If your goal is to have an extended career, most psychiatrists continue to work until late in life with only 18% retiring before age 65.
And residency training is only four years!

If you have any other questions or comments about the field, then feel free to post in the comment section below. I would love to hear from you especially since I remember what it was like to reach such a pivotal point in my education/career.

Photo by Marlon Santos

April 8, 2015 15 comments

Personal

Pre-Med Flashbacks

written by freudandfashion

{Fairfield, CA}

I see numerous posted pictures on social media of college students studying late at night, cramming for tests, and getting frustrated with material. While viewing these images, I can’t help but get flashbacks of the times I was in the same position stressed and anxiety-ridden over upcoming exams. Over the course of my experience in blogging and social media, I have met numerous amazing people, which includes students, fashionistas, clinicians, other professionals, mental health advocates, and people coping with mental illnesses. I am always taken aback each time someone comments on my intelligence and fortitude because I never viewed myself as academically gifted nor standout in any way. I studied A LOT, attended office hours (even though I was too scared to ask any questions), diligently highlighted and took notes during and after class, drew study diagrams, attended practically EVERY class (I could never get myself to entrust in blackboard), participated in several organizations and held positions (even though I was often too nervous to voice my opinion), and volunteered at hospitals as often as I could. I knew my grades and MCAT (Medical College Admission Test) scores weren’t going to be enough to get accepted into medical school, so I filled my resume with numerous meaningful activities to prove I’d be a good candidate.

I guess the reason I’m writing this is because I’d hate to see anyone give up on their goals just because they’re not inherently the smartest, nor ranked at the top of their class, nor well-connected with professors and administration, or may be struggling with a difficult life event or an episode of mental illness. I often advocate for my college patients who struggle with mental illness to take time off from school to focus on self-care rather than crushing themselves to points beyond instability. If there’s anything that I have learned most from my mentors, my own experience, and also my patients’ experiences is that persistence and execution of your goals are key, and if it takes a bit longer to get there, then so be it. Persistence can mean anything from allowing yourself to regroup from illness, taking a break for experiential work to explore and solidify your goals, to putting yourself in roles that challenge you beyond your comfort zone.

So, while you anxiously await your exam scores, grad school acceptance letters, etc, I hope you entrust that the outcome (whether exciting or disappointing) will lead you a step in the right direction towards self-enhancement and achievement of your ultimate goal.

Photo by Marlon Santos

February 18, 2015 7 comments

...BECAUSE IT'S STYLISH TO TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH, ESPECIALLY HOW WE MAINTAIN OUR OWN.

premed

Why A Pre-Med Student With Bipolar Disorder Posted on YouTube Against Medical Advice

5 Things I Would Tell My Pre-Med Self

Open Doors

Psychiatry Specialty of Choice

Contemplating Psychiatry?

Pre-Med Flashbacks