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psychology

Last Minute Tips To Get Through Valentine’s Day

It’s possible that you’ve been dreading this day and now that it’s here, keep in mind that there’s just a few more hours you need to get through before it’s OVER. Farewell. Good riddens. Until next year. You can then move forward with the rest of the year once the clock turns midnight (or go to bed really early).

And I’m not just talking about people who are single — I’ve observed an increase in anxiety from people who are single, partnered, married, recently split/divorced, or in a new relationship. Therefore, the following are some tips for minimizing anxiety and getting through Valentine’s Day with a sense of contentment:

FOR THOSE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND PLAN TO CELEBRATE VALENTINE’S DAY

1. Do you get overwhelmed by the Valentine’s Day crowds and long lines at restaurants?? I’ve noticed that even extroverts wish to avoid public places on this day (myself included). Unless you’ve already confirmed dinner reservations for a fancy pre fixe menu (dinner cancellations usually have to be made more than 24 hours in advance), then instead discuss with your significant other if they’re open to having a quiet night in. Sometimes doing something simple that both of you would appreciate will make a far more memorable and meaningful Valentine’s Day.

However, if you’re in a fairly new relationship, then stick with the night out that you’ve already discussed, but be sure to allow yourself enough time to wind down and relax afterwards.

2. Do you resent having to spend an excessive amount of money on Valentine’s Day? Well, you can rest assured knowing you’re not the only one who despises this corporate holiday. An article from The Atlantic discusses how research done by Angeline Close Scheinbaum, Associate Professor of Marketing at the University of Texas at Austin, found that there’s a significant amount of anti-consumerism associated with the holiday.

Here’s Scheinbaum quoting one of her research subjects in the Journal of Business Research:

Most (63 percent) males and some (31 percent) females feel obligated to give a gift to their partner for this holiday. Some couples discuss their frustrations; yet they still buy:

“Valentine’s Day is a way for retailers to get you to spend money in their stores. People get caught up in the B.S. and I should not have to spend extra to show I care, and my girlfriend agrees. But we both still spent plenty!”

3. Be present and in the moment. Oftentimes we set unrealistic expectations of what the ‘perfect’ Valentine’s Day is supposed to look like. And the pressures of media (especially social media) causes many to desire that picture-perfect celebration, which distracts from the whole purpose of the night. Therefore, allot only a few minutes to snap a few memorable photos to document the occasion, THEN be sure to put the phone AWAY for the rest of the occasion.

FOR THOSE WHO ARE SINGLE, SEPARATED, DIVORCED, OR IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

1. If you’re single, utilize this day to treat yourself. Consider choosing an activity that allows you to reconnect with things YOU enjoy. Remember, Valentine’s Day is often a time when people stress about trying to please the other person in their life, so celebrate the fact that you get a chance to treat yourself without the added pressure! Whether your preferences consist of watching a movie, taking an exercise class, going shopping or out to dinner with a close friend, etc, be sure to plan something you enjoy.

2. If you’re going through a breakup, separation, or divorce — spend time with those who are supportive and close to you. If you’re unable to arrange plans with others, then be sure to arrange for something relaxing and semi-distracting (such as an exercise class, massage, shopping, etc). Or consider arranging to talk on the phone/Skype/FaceTime, etc with a close friend/family member who understands what you’re going through. Oftentimes Valentine’s Day causes people to feel even more lonely and sad about the split, but you can re-direct these thoughts by remembering the reasons you broke up in the first place. Even though you’re sad, keep in mind that ultimately you’ll grow from this experience.

3. Use this day to jumpstart your dating life. Perhaps you’ve been wanting to sign up for an online dating site or have been holding off on having your friends set you up with someone — consider Valentine’s Day as a source of motivation (instead of a trigger for depressive thoughts).

4. If you’re in a long distance relationship — arrange for a phone or Skype date with your significant other, or spend the day with classmates, coworkers, or friends. I was fortunate to have awesome classmates during residency and recall having a group dinner one year on Valentine’s Day. However, if you’re a medical student or resident, you’ll likely have minimal time to celebrate and instead will be distracted by studying anyway.

5. If you’re an independent thinker who prefers not to play into the hype of this ‘holiday,’ then protest this overly commercialized day by treating it as any regular day of the week. Feel free to laugh at those spending hundreds of dollars on gifts and the angry drivers rushing to make it in time for their early dinner reservations.

Well, regardless of what you do, I hope your Valentine’s Day turns out to be one that’s the least anxiety-provoking as possible! 🙂

February 14, 2017 4 comments

Fashion Psychiatry

How A Determined Schizophrenic Woman From NYC Is Breaking Stigma About Mental Illness

written by freudandfashion

{Schizophrenic.NYC buttons, bracelets, stickers}

In just a little over a year since I last interviewed Michelle Hammer (founder of Schizophrenic.NYC, a clothing line aimed at promoting mental health awareness), her company and mission have gained an exponential amount of support from the media and community. Since hundreds of thousands of people with schizophrenia are living on the streets, Michelle’s clothing line donates a portion of its profits to organizations that help the mentally ill homeless population of New York City. Being diagnosed with schizophrenia herself, Michelle demonstrates that people with schizophrenia can succeed, have a career, and live a normal life. She breaks stereotypes about a diagnosis highly stigmatized. I was fortunate to have the opportunity to catch up with Michelle to get an update on Schizophrenic.NYC and her thoughts on living with mental illness:

1. It has been over a year since I last interviewed you on my blog. What would you say has been your biggest accomplishment in the last year?

I would have to say that I have accomplished a lot in the past year, but what I have accomplished the most is changing the way people view mental health and how they respond to it. I’ve talked to many people at my pop-up shops about the mental health issues in NYC as well as across the country. People always seem surprised when I tell them the statistic in NYC is that 1 in 5 New Yorkers have a mental health issue. When people hear that they now understand that mental illness is so much more common than what they originally thought. Also, many people that I know are now much more comfortable about talking about their own mental health struggles. I have had people tell me that, because of me and my openness, they now feel more open to discuss their issues with their family and friends. If everyone would be more open, then more people can see how common mental health issues really are in society.

2. Congratulations on being featured on numerous renowned news platforms such as Buzzfeed and Daily Mail! It’s a testament to how much heart and hard work you put into growing Schizophrenic.NYC and spreading your mission. What do you think it is about Schizophrenic.NYC that the media is most drawn to?

I am so grateful to have been featured in such awesome publications as Buzzfeed, The Daily Mail, and Mashable. I think people are drawn to Schizophrenic.NYC because it was started by me, a girl with schizophrenia, who wants to change the way society sees mental health. It’s often thought that people with schizophrenia cannot build their own business, or work any type of “regular” job. By breaking down that stereotype and barrier I am doing something the general public thought could not be done.

3. Part of Schizophrenic.NYC’s mission is to make a difference in the way that the mentally ill homeless population is treated. What do you think people should consider when they encounter homeless people on the streets? What do you think is the biggest misconception about the mentally ill homeless population?

It’s hard to say what people should do when they encounter homeless people on the streets. When I walk by a homeless person who is yelling at nobody, and exhibiting obvious symptoms of schizophrenia then I start to feel sympathetic. I know that if these people had the support of friends, family and a doctor they would be able to get the treatment they need, and they would be able to function in society. I would say the biggest misconception about the homeless population is that they are a lost cause, and none of them can be helped, which is completely not true. If someone is homeless and mentally ill, they need to get the right help. Here in NYC we need more outreach to help these homeless people who are suffering.

4. A lot of my readers/followers are future mental health clinicians or are in the medical field. Do you feel that people with schizophrenia are often misunderstood when seeking treatment/support? Based on your own experiences, what advice would you give mental health/medical practitioners about how to approach someone diagnosed with schizophrenia?

When I first was diagnosed with schizophrenia I got very depressed. I thought nobody would ever love me or want to associate with me because of my diagnosis. I think that something I should have been told was that with the right medication and monitoring that I can live a perfectly normal life. I am not my diagnosis. I am me. Just because you get diagnosed with schizophrenia doesn’t mean your life is over. It’s just the beginning of getting the best help you can, and living the best life you can.

{Michelle Hammer, creator of Schizophrenic.NYC}

For more info on Schizophrenic.NYC, check out their website, Facebook, and Instagram.

December 15, 2016 2 comments

Psychiatry

Advice on How To Cope With Burnout

written by freudandfashion

{Napa, California}

Hello my blog friends! For those who aren’t on Instagram, I wanted to share what I wrote on my post today about coping with burnout:

One of the hallmarks of burnout is that taking time off from work doesn’t renew your energy/interest in the work you do. After a relaxing Thanksgiving break, I felt super motivated to return to work and start seeing my patients today, yet the way I felt at my previous job during this exact time 2 years ago was a different story. There are numerous factors that contribute to burnout (many are difficult to pinpoint & identify, which is why people often feel they were blindsided by it).

There are different ways to deal with burnout, and though the hope would be that your employers quickly make changes to improve your situation, the likelihood of that can be pretty low. Therefore, you must be PROACTIVE and take action if you want your quality of life to improve. Depending on your situation, this can be anything from taking an extended time off, working out issues with your employer, cutting back on work hours, or finding a new job/career. One of the 1st things to do is get support (from a trusted friend, family member, union, mentor, colleague, therapist, etc). And definitely ADVOCATE for yourself (I can’t stress this enough!). Often in our careers, when we are given unrealistic expectations that challenge our values/views/identity, we are left with feelings of failure and self-defeat, but the only way to improve our situation is to stand up and recognize our value and worth.

Thought of the Day: Have you ever experienced burnout from your job? If so, what did you find to be most helpful at overcoming it?

November 30, 2016 4 comments

Psychiatry

Have You Been Hit With Autumn Anxiety?

written by freudandfashion

I noticed a pattern in several of my Instagram posts the last few weeks: a sense of being hard on myself, feeling like I haven’t been productive enough, lacking any sense of accomplishment, feeling as if there’s no time in the day to get through my task list, etc. Such a surge in self-criticism didn’t sit well with me, so I wanted to gain more insight and determine the trigger (as if I don’t psychoanalyze enough in my day to day life). It wasn’t until I started noticing the anxious tone in my voice each time I told some of my patients to schedule their next appointment in 3 months (which would be around January 2017) and went on to wish them an early “Happy Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas/Hannukah/Qwanzaa,” etc, that an a-ha moment occurred in my mind — Oh my goodness, it’s almost 2017!

So I started researching if there was such a phenomenon related to Autumn anxiety. And much to my relief, I discovered that several others have experienced it and written about it as well! I didn’t find much research on autumn anxiety in medical databases, however, my Google search engine churned out a few articles that validated my experience (isn’t validation of our own experiences/opinions ultimately what we look for anyway?):

Wales therapist Ginny Scully named the phenomenon “Autumn Anxiety” after observing a pattern in her clients as the summer season ended where they experienced an increase in generalized anxiety and anticipation, without really knowing what they were supposed to be anticipating. She noted in the article that people who are more sensitive and aware of changes in their surroundings tend to experience these feelings.
The transition into Fall triggers a sense of loss. Dr. Norman Rosenthal, a psychiatrist, believes the key element to consider is loss, particularly since many consider the summer season as a time for partying, relaxation, leaving work early on Fridays, and having longer summer nights to enjoy. Therefore, once summer ends, life quickly starts to feel more stressful.
The days become shorter, which means less bright light exposure during the autumn season compared to summer. Bright light has been shown to have effects that decrease anxiety.

Have any of you also experienced an increase in anxiety during the transition from summer to autumn? Reading the information I discovered above at least validated my experience and helped me realize I wasn’t alone!

October 12, 2016 15 comments

Psychiatry

World Mental Health Day 2016

written by freudandfashion

I talk about the subject of mental health EVERY SINGLE DAY. Therefore, with today being World Mental Health Day, I thought long and hard about how I’m going to say something any different than what I wrote on this day last year and what I say in my job as a psychiatrist on a daily basis. So here’s what I came up with:

NOTHING.

No joke – I literally sat in front of my computer for hours typing idea after idea, sentence after sentence, complaint after complaint about our mental health system when I decided to scratch everything I wrote and opted instead to free write the following thoughts:

Issue 1: Mental health impacts EVERYONE…whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. The topic of mental health is considered taboo in many cultures and remains highly stigmatized in society. However, in order to break the pattern of silence which gets passed along generations, we must acknowledge our own mental health issues and create a sense of safety within our own families to feel open enough to discuss issues as they arise, thus modeling a healthier way of communicating.

Issue 2: We often tell people “don’t be afraid to ask for help,” yet when they finally decide to seek resources, the first place they may end up is on a long waitlist to see a mental health professional, yet mental health professionals are overworked and becoming burned out trying to meet increased demands and make up for the lack of resources. The bigger issue is that more funding and resources are needed to bridge the gap in order to meet the need.

Issue 3: If you Google ‘World Mental Health Day,’ the top articles on your feed likely consists of links that highlight the Duchess of Cambridge, Prince William and Prince Harry’s public appearance today to raise awareness of mental health and support the mission of Heads Together, the mental health organization they helped create. I love their theme for World Mental Health Day, which encourages people to celebrate anyone who has supported them through a difficult time using #ThereForMe. Support is absolutely necessary for everyone, especially those struggling with mental illness.

Personally, through each struggle I’ve experienced, I have always been thankful for the support I received. Often when my patients are struggling, they feel comforted knowing they have at least one person they trust to reach out to. I hope that someday each one of us could feel open enough to be that person to someone because addressing mental health isn’t something we should have to go through alone. Rather than waiting on legislation to create measures that prioritize mental health, we can each act now by identifying ways to address our own mental health and be more present for those close to us who might be in need of support.

By the way, I realize that I posted this blogpost quite late today, but I suppose there was no real sense of urgency because in my mind, World Mental Health Day is EVERY DAY.

October 11, 2016 8 comments

Lifestyle Medicine

A Psychiatrist’s Perspective of Time

written by freudandfashion

As a psychiatrist, time dictates my day in the office. My schedule is divided into 20-minute increments for patient follow-up visits and 40-minute blocks for new patient evaluations. I try my best to stay within the specific time limits, but sometimes patients require a bit more time in order to effectively convey & discuss the diagnosis and treatment plan. If a few minutes overtime are needed, I allow it, however, it’s also necessary for a psychiatrist to set boundaries on time because it can take away from each successive patient’s appointment time. Even though some patients may take up more time than allowed, it’s my job as a psychiatrist to direct the interview and complete the entire session within a reasonable timeframe.

Sometimes patients are so anxious about disclosing information that they wait until the last minute when the session is almost over. A psychiatrist should acknowledge the patient’s disclosure and triage/judge whether or not the issue is emergent and must be addressed, or if the issue can wait until the next appointment. I’ve had to remain in the office after hours several times, mostly when a patient is an imminent risk and needs to be assessed for possible hospitalization.

If you don’t feel like you get enough time with your doctor, then you’re not alone. Most doctors wish they could spend more time with their patients, but the pressures to see a patient within a short amount of time exists. Over the past four years that I’ve been in practice, I’ve developed my own therapeutic style that allows me to to efficiently ask necessary questions while maintaining a connection with my patients (hint: such techniques involve direct eye contact, spending the first few minutes allowing the patient to talk uninterrupted, acknowledging factors in their lives other than solely discussing meds, etc). In a 20-minute session, I probably average spending 25% of the time discussing medications. A psychiatrist’s job isn’t easy — I may be a physician, but I’m also a human being and can’t help but be impacted by my patient’s heartbreaking issues. Therefore, prioritizing time for self-care is absolutely necessary.

I utilize my weekends doing non-psychiatry activities (with the exception of blogging & social media). I used to be on-call at my previous job, but realized I needed weekends off to maintain my sanity. I admire anybody who takes call on weekends, but for me there was nothing worse than getting paged at 2 am and driving to the hospital half asleep.

Having made career decisions that doesn’t compromise on providing the best quality of care I can nor the people and activities that are important to me, I feel much more balanced with my current part-time schedule. I used to feel extremely constrained by time (I still feel that way, but not nearly as much), but these days I am far more in control of how I choose to spend it.

Watch: c/o JORD (For the link to my watch, click here)

August 26, 2016 9 comments

Psychiatry

Why Minority Mental Health Is Important

written by freudandfashion

As a psychiatrist who is also in therapy, I remember feeling misunderstood when it came to my culture as a filipino-american, but meant a lot to me to have my therapist express a genuine interest in understanding my culture and asking me for details regarding my experience. Oftentimes I believe clinicians don’t prioritize someone’s identity (ethnicity, culture, religion, sexuality) when it comes to health, especially mental health, yet these factors play a significant role in someone’s values and way of life.

July is Minority Mental Health Awareness Month and although today might be the last day, having knowledge of the disparities and struggles that several minorities experience is important if we’re going to eliminate stigma surrounding mental illness. I consider myself as someone who prioritizes cultural competency, yet reading statistics and information regarding certain minorities surprised me and I was happy that this month existed and motivated me to read more about it. Which is the reason why I’m sharing some of the following information with you here on my blog, in addition to some techniques that I use to incorporate someone’s ethnicity/culture/sexual identity, etc into the conversation during treatment (continue reading below).

Statistics:

African American attitudes toward mental illness are another barrier to seeking mental health care. Mental illness retains considerable stigma, and seeking treatment is not always encouraged. One study found that the proportion of African Americans who feared mental health treatment was 2.5 times greater than the proportion of whites (Sussman et al., 1987). (1)
A report from the U.S. Surgeon General found that violent deaths – unintentional injuries, homicide, and suicide – account for 75% of all mortality in the second decade of life for American Indian/Alaska Natives (U.S. Dept of Health & Human Services Office of Minority Health)
Southeast Asian refugees are at risk for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) associated with trauma experienced before and after immigration to the U.S. One study found that 70% of Southeast Asian refugees receiving mental health care were diagnosed with PTSD (U.S. Dept of Health & Human Services Office of Minority Health)
Western culture makes a distinction between the mind and body, but many Asian cultures do not (Lin, 1996). Therefore, it has long been hypothesized that Asians express more somatic symptoms of distress than white Americans (1).
Mexican immigrants who lived fewer than 13 years in the United States, or Puerto Ricans who resided on the island of Puerto Rico had lower prevalence rates of depression and other disorders than did Mexican Americans who were born in the United States, Mexican immigrants who lived in the United States 13 years or more, or Puerto Ricans who lived on the mainland. This consistent pattern of findings across independent investigators, different sites, and two Latino subgroups (Mexican Americans and Puerto Ricans) suggests that factors associated with living in the United States are related to an increased risk of mental disorders (1).

The following are a few questions I ask to promote discussion of someone’s identity and incorporate someone’s culture, race, ethnicity into treatment (some of these may sound so simple, yet raising the questions can feel awkward at first especially since the subject of someone’s identity might be perceived as a sensitive subject):

What is your ethnic background?
For someone who is mixed race: Is there a specific ethnicity/culture/race that you identify with most?
What is your sexual identity?
How has your cultural identity influenced the way you approach current issues in your life?
How does your family cope with issues related to mental health?
Tell me what are some of the most misunderstood aspects about your culture that you wish people could better understand?

If you’ve had any positive/negative experiences with clinicians in regards to addressing your health/mental health, please share and comment below!

Source:

1. Office of the Surgeon General (US); Center for Mental Health Services (US); National Institute of Mental Health (US). Rockville (MD): Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US); 2001 Aug.

Photo collage credit: Patrice N. Douglas

July 31, 2016 12 comments

Fashion Personal

What My Former Boss Told Me About My Wardrobe

written by freudandfashion

{Westlake Village, California}

Though my social media name has the word “fashion,” my fashion sense during the initial stages of my professional career most definitely did not reflect any sense of the word. During college, I apparently believed that it was appropriate to wear flip flops, cut off jeans, and a hooded sweatshirt as both a research associate/front desk clerk for the research center I worked for. Even the more junior researchers wore slacks and pencil skirts, but I’m not sure why I didn’t put two and two together. I vaguely recall the manager asking if I could possibly dress more conservative, but gave her the excuse that driving directly from class to work allotted minimal time for me to change clothing, therefore I promised to at least change my shoes. I honestly thought that I was a rockstar for upgrading my flip flops to the more conservative tennis shoes, but apparently even that wasn’t good enough. And if that wasn’t enough to get me to change, imagine how I responded when I overheard several of my more senior coworkers having a rather loud conversation within earshot discussing the importance of ‘implementing’ a dress code. And yet, I still didn’t realize their words were directed towards me! It wasn’t until my research supervisor had a one-to-one conversation with me that I finally got the message about my wardrobe. He kindly informed me that the center would like for me to not only dress more conservative, but to also dress more professional. He emphasized the fact that since I worked at the front desk, I also served as a representative of the center, and therefore it was important for me to dress professional. To be honest, I was shocked throughout the entire conversation and thought “why didn’t they just tell this to my face sooner?”

The moral of the story is an important note about communication. Oftentimes, we indirectly communicate our thoughts and assume that the person we’re communicating with should understand/comprehend exactly what we’re saying, but that’s not always the case. I talked to one of my patients today about the importance of directly communicating how she feels about her teenage daughter on a deeper level rather than engaging in their usual angry conversations with one another (anger tends to be a secondary manifestation of deeper emotions such as hurt and pain). I truly appreciated my supervisor for having such an honest conversation with me. To this day, I still think about the conversation almost each time I contemplate what to wear to work. Needless to say, that was a pivotal moment in my style transformation and marked the beginning of me discovering and cultivating my own personal and professional wardrobe (yes, I no longer wear cut-off jeans to work).

Photo by Alex M & Jen F

July 20, 2016 4 comments

Personal Travel

Living Free and Spontaneous

written by freudandfashion

{Malibu, California}

This may be my quickest blogpost to date, which is uncharacteristic of me because I’m such a perfectionist when it comes to writing. But I wanted to give a personal update since I haven’t posted about my life in recent weeks on here. Looking back at my posts from 2015, I recognize how much I’ve grown and changed my lifestyle and career to prioritize myself and what’s important for me, my family, friends, and patients. I recall writing this post last year on my desire to explore new places and live freely after all my restrictive years in medical training, and must say that I’ve lived up to my words in 2016!

The pic above was taken recently during the Malibu Wine Safari tour as part of my birthday celebration last month (thanks to my brother for the birthday gift!) and today I’m taking off for a last minute, spontaneous international trip to a country I’m super excited to visit, but honestly wasn’t prepared for since this California girl isn’t used to the rapidly changing and varied climate of this country (hint: the name of the country sounds very cold and is an island). Hence, the quick blogpost today since I need to go finish packing before my flight leaves in a few hours!

If you’d like to follow along on my adventures, be sure to follow me on my Snapchat (@freudandfashion)!! PS: in addition to my daily adventures, I also post educational material on mental health and show my humorous side via parodies about shrinks.

Photo by Alex Manipod

June 10, 2016 11 comments

Featured Guest Blogger

How Mental Illness Became a Light Instead of Darkness

written by freudandfashion

Although yesterday marked the end of this year’s Mental Health Month, the discussion and efforts to raise awareness in order to break the stigma must remain a daily conversation. So, I’m keeping the momentum going by featuring Brandon Ha, an amazing friend who also happens to be a kick ass mental health advocate and the creative director behind Break Yo Stigma, a social media campaign focused on breaking the shameful stigma of mental illness. I first came across Brandon’s @breakyostigma Instagram page over a year ago when I was brainstorming ways to positively use social media for sharing my views on psychiatry. The posts on @breakyostigma were bold, articulate, and uncensored when it came to the fallacies of our mental health system, and served as my inspiration to be more vocal about my own views via social media. Therefore, I’m proud and excited to feature Brandon as a guest blogger as he discusses how his bipolar diagnosis ignited a drive to change the public’s views towards mental illness.

_________________________

We all knew that one person in high school who you thought was going to be successful. You know, become a doctor or lawyer (or these days, some tech founder) and have it all. A house on the hill, the love and support of family and friends, and wealth to be able to do anything he/she wanted.

Goals to that person were no obstacle and dreams were just a mere foreshadowing of the inevitable. And we all knew that person who had this unlimited potential to achieve whatever they wanted in life, but failed. I knew the latter person from high school pretty closely — it was me.

Mental illness robbed me of the person I could’ve become. My symptoms began as a third year in college as I had aspirations to become a pediatrician, though there were plenty of signs it started much sooner. My focus began slipping and I started to fail my classes. And though I had plenty of friends in college, including my high school sweetheart, I couldn’t turn to them for support. Passing by the counseling center every single day on the way home, I couldn’t open the door and walk in. Got a problem? Hell no, not me.

But there definitely was a problem, and failing out of college was just the beginning.

That summer, like most college dropouts, I needed to do some major soul searching. I decided to take a trip to Vietnam and visit the country and my family whom I’d never met. Nothing like taking a trip to the motherland and discovering your roots to get you back on track, right? I’d find myself and head toward the path to success again in no time. But as my extended stay in Southeast Asia went on, my moods began shifting dramatically.

Sleeping less and less, sometimes no more than two hours a night; partly due to the suffocating humidity and partly due to my mind constantly racing. Getting enough sleep was an afterthought though because I felt, ironically, even more energy the less sleep I got. I wanted to do everything, and at the time, I thought I could. Start a nonprofit organization, found a tech startup, go to medical school – it was all in the realm of possibility in my world. I didn’t find the fountain of youth in Vietnam. Instead, I found the fountain of energy. My family, who’d just met me for the very first time, thought I was crazy. They weren’t wrong.

After seven weeks and with my grandiosity at its absolute peak, I returned back to the states a different person. I had lost 18 pounds from not sleeping enough for weeks on end. The dark circles around my eyes made me look like an extra from 28 Days Later (Walking Dead wasn’t around for another decade), and my flight of ideas continued non-stop. I was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital shortly after my return. Diagnosis: bipolar disorder, type 1.

I was officially crazy.

It has been 14 years since my diagnosis. I could write forever about what I’ve gone through and seen during my years of hospitalizations and suicide attempts; the countless times I turned to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain I foolishly thought no one would understand. I wish I could tell you I was that successful person everyone thought would have made it. But alas, there’s no house on the hill or fancy graduate degree hanging in my office.

Today, however, I define my own success. I started working with NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) in 2010 as I started my road to recovery. As I became more comfortable in my own skin and with my diagnosis, I began speaking to high school and college students about my story and advocating mental health and how to look for signs and take care of oneself. In 2012, I started Break Yo Stigma, a youth mental health campaign aimed towards fighting stigma and discrimination. And, as of February, I celebrated six years of sobriety. I may not have that diploma hanging on the wall (yet), but that sobriety chip feels pretty damn good, too.

As someone living with bipolar disorder, I know I’ll have more extreme mood swings than the average person. But even though my diagnosis is forever and there’s no cure, treatment is very possible. I live a damn good life. I know now that I’m not crazy — I never was. And neither are the millions of people around the world that live with mental illness. We’re not crazy, just misunderstood. It’s time to change that.

Break yo stigma.

Bio: Brandon Ha is the Creative Director at Break Yo Stigma, a social media campaign focused on breaking the shameful stigma of mental illness. Inspired to create change in the mental health community from his own personal experience living with bipolar disorder, he seeks to end the shame preventing many people all over the world from seeking proper mental health care. Brandon currently collaborates with Bay Area mental health organizations including NAMI Santa Clara County and Stanford Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences.

For more info, check out Break Yo Stigma on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

June 2, 2016 5 comments

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