After returning from a week-long vacation, I dreaded the pile of catch-up work and voicemails waiting for my much-needed attention. I assumed that I’d be in vacation-mode and perform sluggishly on my first day back, but surprised myself at how easily I resumed my normal routine. Even more surprising was noticing the level of comfort I had while interacting with new patients whereas in the past I’d be concerned about whether or not my patients would feel connected to me or question my knowledge being a mere resident instead of a full-fledged Psychiatrist. One word to describe this new-found feeling? — Confidence. Confidence may come easily for some, but for me (and most, I assume), it required self-evaluation and rising after feelings of inadequacy and failure. Once that feeling is obtained, savor the moment the way you savor a great vacation.
Travel
One thing I’ve mastered during residency is the timing of vacation and making the most of those few days of freedom. Four months without vacation is far too long, one month intervals is too soon, but a vacation every 2.5 months comes out to be just right. I’m at the point of yearning for some much-deserved time off, which I plan to spend soaking up sun to boost my Vitamin D and eating/shopping/partying in one of my favorite cities. My key to surviving residency incorporates a balance of combining work, relaxation, and fun, because the former can easily dominate over time, resulting in high anxiety, struggles to get up in the morning, a shorter temper, less sleep, and less people wanting to be around me.
{Kara’s Cupcakes…seasonal strawberry cream cupcake}
My recent visit to see family in northern California consisted of a deliciously appetizing day spent in downtown Napa. I love the Napa Valley for its gorgeous wineries, world-class cuisine, and picturesque landscapes. In the past, I’ve spent most of my time touring wineries, but exploring the downtown area left me equally impressed. I’m in a phase of eating only free-range poultry and grass-fed beef (thank you, Food Inc.), so I was excited to find C CASA -An Innovative Tacqueria at the Oxbow Public Market (I highly recommend their nachos) and couldn’t resist a bite of a yummy treat from Kara’s Cupcakes. We ended the night at Cole’s Chop House for an amazing dinner with a great bottle of pinot noir, and though I stuck to my current diet and ordered a seafood dish from the classic steakhouse (they serve corn-fed beef), my sister said her filet mignon was “melt-in-your-mouth” delicious.
{C CASA nachos with free-range chicken, chipotle sauce, and goat cheese}
I’ve noticed my latest posts have been more food & travel-inspired than psych-inspired, but I believe taking trips and enjoying a great meal is definitely good for the psyche. More psych posts to come!
{at The Annenberg Space for Photography in Century City}
Any weekend filled with food and shopping makes for a fabulous weekend in my eyes. This past week I found myself making excuses to slack on my workout routines, contemplating fast food meals instead of slaving over a hot stove, taking twice as long to type notes on my patient sessions, and feeling uninspired (or more like lazy) to type a blogpost. At that point I knew it was time for a weekend getaway, so I went to Los Angeles for a few days filled with food, fashion, and photography inspiration (I’m looking to finally invest in a digital SLR camera). I believe everyone deserves a few hours (or days) to relax and do something enjoyable in order to increase productivity. By Sunday I felt completely rejuvenated…until my delayed flight at LAX pushed my arrival home to 2:30am.
{Eggs Salmone and Spanish Latte at Urth Caffe in Beverly Hills}
{Welcome BBQ 2009}
Time flies. One year ago, I packed my bags and moved from my comfortable home in sunny California to a rainy, agricultural town in Oregon for my 2nd year of residency. Though I truly hated the first few months being away from my family and friends (and fabulous shopping malls), I can now willingly admit it was for the best. I work with amazing Psychiatrists, gained friendships that will last a lifetime, and most importantly, I’m learning more about myself. I guess these next two years of residency won’t be nearly as painful as I originally thought.
{Team Building River Raft trip 2009}
{Residency Retreat in Bend, OR}
{Snowshoeing event in Bend, OR}
{End of Year Party at Ankeny Vineyard}
{View from the deck of the Willamette Valley Vineyards}
Being the first full weekend of sunshine in Oregon for months, the last thing I wanted to do was stay home. I admit to constantly whining about Oregon weather, but when the sun comes out, the Oregon landscape offers breathtaking views in comparison to the smoggy skies of southern California. I spent the day with a fellow resident exploring the beautiful wineries in the Willamette Valley and gained a greater appreciation of Northwest viticulture. Impressively, there are about 400 wineries in the Willamette Valley alone, so I’ve barely made a dent on the list. But, at least I know there are places I can escape to just minutes away from the busy I-5 Highway to sit, relax, and enjoy the sunshine.
There’s nothing like a weekend of debauchery to escape the daily grind of work…and what better setting to have it than a bachelorette party in Vegas. I despised the city of sin for quite some time after living there a few years ago, but this past weekend brought redemption. Reuniting with girlfriends on the strip made me feel feminine and revived again, and though I can’t post most of my pics, I’d like to be reminded of the 105 degree Vegas heat, which I’d definitely prefer right now over the gloomy, Oregon rain (yes, it’s still dark, 50 degrees, and raining).
{yummy Spanish latte at Urth Caffe, Beverly Hills}
1. Wear black.
2. Be around a group of friends who look at least 5 years older than you.
3. Wear professional clothing.
4. Pile on the makeup (especially foundation and smokey eye shadow).
5. Listen to NPR to stay up-to-date with current events talk (and not so much on the latest celebrity gossip & what’s hot on the fashion runways).
For my birthday, I contemplated cutting my hair short, dyeing it black, and wearing a professional black outfit in attempt to look closer to my age. I can say with confidence that I look at least 20 yrs old. For the longest time, I got offended each time someone looked shocked that I was a doctor, every time someone told me I look like I just graduated from high school, each time I was asked if I was a nurse despite wearing my lengthy white coat. In general, I get commented on how young I look almost every other day. On my way to celebrate in Los Angeles this weekend, I was carded at the wine bar in the Portland Airport, then carded the following day at Pizzeria Mozza in West Hollywood. Yet, after my birthday, I had an epiphany. This time around, I wasn’t so bothered…if anything, I fully embraced the fact that I look younger for my age and profession. In fact, if I’m still carded at the age of 40, I’ll consider it a major compliment (and a genetic accomplishment).
Tip of the Day: Embrace who you are. If you change aspects of yourself, do it for your own happiness, and not for the sake of convincing others of the type of person you’re expected to be.
Happy Mother’s Day!
{Mother’s Day 2009 in Napa, CA}
Ever since I moved away for medical school, my mom has grown accustomed to my busy schedule and fully understands when I can’t make it to family gatherings. In fact, her greater concern is ensuring that I eat an appropriate meal while they enjoy a hearty celebratory meal without me. I’m always aware of my mother’s love no matter where my location may be. Her gift is scheduled to arrive on time, but no gift does justice to what she’s worth (especially on a resident’s salary). I owe my mom a million thank you’s (plus a vacation to Hawaii) when I’m done.
3 Simple things I did for me this weekend:
1. Sipped refreshing watermelon lemonade on the sunny deck of a cute local cafe (http://lemonadela.com/).
2. Shopped by the Santa Monica pier and bought the perfect white dress to pair with strands of blue beads (http://zara.com/#/en_GB/woman/collection/4).
3. Slept in without the annoying buzzing sound of my alarm clock.
I’ve noticed that my weekend getaways back home to LA have become more relaxing (and less tightly packed with scheduled activities) over time. With work being busy, my sleep has decreased and frequency of tension headaches have been high, but I keep chugging along knowing I’d be able to catch up on sleep once the work week was over. I’m devoted to work and the quality of care provided for my patients so much that I’m willing to stay late for impromptu family meetings and do last minute check-ins on those struggling the most. The second most common question I’m asked by patients and staff (after “Are you old enough to be a doctor?”) is “Wow, you’re still here?” To address the stress and overwhelming feelings that some of my patients experience from devoting nearly 100% of their time towards caring for others is asking them to take time to do something for themselves. It’s difficult to truthfully take care of anyone until you take care of yourself first. What little things have you done for yourself recently that makes you happy?