Tag:

family

Mother’s Day Note

{Napa, California}

Oftentimes, I observe my mom and wish that I could match her levels of energy, thoughtfulness, and ability to multi-task. Fortunately, some of her traits were passed on to me, though I still hope for late-onset development of her culinary skills. Even as an adult, if I’m ever out of line or “misbehave” in any way, my mom is the one person whom I will always fear to put me in my place! But seriously, she embodies all the qualities I’d hope to possess when I have my own children. I love you Mom, Happy Mother’s Day 🙂

And to all the wonderful mothers and mother figures — hope you have a well-deserved, enjoyable & relaxing day!

May 10, 2015 5 comments

therapy

Thankful Thursdays

written by freudandfashion

IMGP0257

Malibu Beach

People who meet me tend to perceive me as a positive person, but I’ll admit that I wasn’t always that way. I was quite the complainer growing up and blamed others if things didn’t go my way. My negativity improved through maturation over time, but my four years of psychiatric residency training certainly helped me become more self-aware. Learning about different psychotherapy techniques sharpened my skills even further, and one modality that I use involves Positive Psychotherapy.

What is Positive Psychotherapy (PPT)?

In a nutshell, Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman spearheaded the development and research of PPT as an intervention for treatment of depression and the theory consists of some of the following concepts:

– focus on the POSITIVE (factors that contribute to happiness and build upon one’s strengths)

– build POSITIVE EMOTIONS (about the past, present, and future)

– identify and utilize your STRENGTHS

for example, if you’re a creative person, do things that bring out your creativity (such as writing, photography, etc). If you’re competitive, consider joining a recreational group or league

– instead of letting your strengths and talents go to waste, apply them towards something MEANINGFUL (such as in your job, community, family, religious institution, etc)

Naturally, this can take a lot of work/effort especially since our minds may automatically take us down a negative spiral in the face of challenge and negativity. With our often stressful and hectic lives, when something goes wrong, it seems like it requires more time and energy to switch to a positive mindframe. With that in mind, Seligman’s team developed a series of exercises to help shift your mind towards more positive thinking, one of which includes listing “3 good things” that went well during your day.

So, with a slight twist and in the spirit of PPT, I created a new series on my blog called “Thankful Thursdays” where I will list 3 things I’m thankful for from the week and I encourage all of you to do the same!

Here’s my list from this week:

1. Took advantage of living a few miles away from the beach and spent some time there to escape the triple digit California heat wave (picture above).

2. I’m thankful for my family stopping by my office to visit and instead of my usual routine of going home to check email and watch tv, I enjoyed quality time with them over a delicious meal.

Dinner in West Hollywood

3. Received a “sign” today which steered me in a different direction regarding a work project. I truly believe that when one door closes, another one opens, so I’m staying focused and optimistic!

On a boat in South Lake Tahoe

What 3 things are you thankful for?

References:

Seligman, M. E. P., Rashid, T., & Parks, A.C. (2006). Positive psychotherapy. American Psychologist, 61, 774-778.

Photo Credits: Marlon Santos (Diamond Reel Media), Alex Manipod

Disclaimer: this post describes one therapeutic technique and should not be used to replace treatment with your primary clinicians

September 18, 2014 9 comments

Psychiatry therapy

Letting Go

written by freudandfashion

When a stable patient suddenly feels depressed and can’t pinpoint a stressor, I sometimes ask if a loved one passed away around that time of year. After pausing for moments to think, oftentimes the answer is “yes.”

I had a rough week that I initially attributed to having a heavy workload, but realized that the theme I struggled with the most was death and grief. I felt sad to hear news that one of my patients died and grew frustrated each time I heard the word “suicidal.” I’m normally diligent and confident in managing my patients, but my emotions overwhelmed me.

Nine years ago, my grandfather passed away. I regularly blame myself for not attending his funeral in the Philippines because right before he died, he asked that I stay home, focus on my studies, and make him proud by becoming a doctor. I live with regret, but recognize that I’ll keep struggling around this time of year until I learn to forgive myself and accept that my grandfather is gone.

February 12, 2011 2 comments

Travel

Meaning of a Pomegranate

written by freudandfashion

{Pomegranates growing in my parents’ backyard}

This year marked the first Thanksgiving spent in my family’s new house, which I feared might be a sad experience since I knew how much my family loved our previous home. As soon as I walked through the door, I immediately felt a sense of comfort walking into a wide, gorgeous space that had astonishing similarities to our last home. Even more comforting was seeing my entire family together smiling and laughing with no visible signs of the overwhelming stress that took place just weeks before the holiday. Yet, what struck me the most about this house was discovering a pomegranate tree in the backyard. At that moment, I immediately recalled fond childhood memories of picking and eating pomegranates from the tree my grandfather planted in my parents’ first home. It’s one of the fruit trees my grandfather meticulously cared for, and to me, represents regeneration, strength, and growth. Not only did I feel thankful for spending a momentous weekend with family, but also for being reminded of my grandfather watching over us.

December 4, 2010 2 comments

Psychiatry

You’re Crazy

written by freudandfashion

{My sister, aunt, and I on Christmas 2008}

The idea of giving a fake cell phone or earpierce to a person with Schizophrenia who can’t control talking to the voices inside their head in public seems like an ingenius idea. I have an aunt diagnosed with Schizophrenia and I get extremely defensive when people stare at her in public. Perhaps that’s why I get mad when people gauk at people they don’t know on the street and immediately label them as “crazy.”

I encourage you to think twice before you call a random person “crazy” or “psycho.” You don’t know what they’ve been through and you probably don’t care where they’ve been, but technically you care enough to immediately judge them for not fitting in with social norms.

What’s the definition of “normal” anyway? I think the more important term to look up and utilize is empathy.

September 14, 2010 3 comments

Psychiatry therapy Travel

Know Your Roots

written by freudandfashion

My last minute 4.5 day stay in the Philippines last week was way too short but couldn’t have been more perfect. Instead of partaking in the usual treks to white sandy beaches and attractive city sites, we remained in the provincial town where my amazing grandparents raised their 11 children. I found excitement in riding a tricycle to my grandparents’ farm, appreciation for late night gatherings in a courtyard beneath the stars, and indulgence in homecooked meals. There’s something comforting, humbling, and therapeutic about the simplicity of country life, especially when there’s members of 4 generations to share it with you.

{Waking up to the sound of roosters crowing at 5am}

{the liberating feeling of not wearing makeup when the standard look is Au Naturale!}

{appreciation for unique public transportation…the infamous Jeepney}

{paying respect to loved ones deeply missed}

{the joy of being called to a table of delicious Philippine cuisine}

{I’m in one of my Vegetarian phases, so my fave is fresh broiled catfish dipped in a mixture of salted shrimp paste, freshly squeezed kalamansi juice, & chopped red chillies. I also constantly crave the bottom left dish–who knew sliced, sour green mangoes dipped in a salted, lightly fried shrimp paste made such a yummy combination?!}

March 10, 2010 2 comments

Psychiatry therapy Travel

Family First

written by freudandfashion

No matter how bitchy, snappy, stressed, and irritable I can get as result of the often brutal, mental, and physical demands of residency, the one thing I can always count on is family. Doctors dedicate their lives to caring for others that sometimes work takes priority over family, friends, and our own well-being. I’ve missed fabulous weddings, warm holiday gatherings, inspirational graduations, and lovely funerals, to name a few sacrifices made for the sake of my occupation. Instead of regret, my advice to anyone so heavily immersed in work is to take a moment and remember what’s most important in their lives. For me, I choose family. So as I pack for a last minute trip to the Philippines, I recall the memory of my role model and the reason I became a doctor, my grandfather. And during the 14-hour flight tomorrow, I’ll anticipate a long overdue reunion with my grandmother, which has thus far been postponed as a result of work. No more guilt…no more regrets.

My favorite picture of my beloved grandfather

My beautiful grandmother

February 27, 2010 3 comments