Social Toughness

{Ventura, California}

I may be an extrovert, but I grew up struggling with social anxiety and still find myself battling it to this day (if this combination of extrovert/socially anxious sounds confusing, you can check out a post I wrote here).  I remember being in pre-school and the teacher reporting to my parents that I never talked (I was selectively mute, meaning I kept silent while at school but talked in other environments such as home), which made it hard to befriend other kids.  Therapy and pushing myself to be in uncomfortable settings (I took public speaking courses, ran for leadership office positions in high school even though I didn’t speak, and continue to be in group therapy which is extremely difficult for me) have helped me tolerate the anxiety, though I still get overwhelmed each time I go somewhere new or unfamiliar.

The first time I ever ate out at a sit-down restaurant alone was after working late as a post-graduate researcher at UC Davis.  I felt nervous and swore everyone was staring at me, but felt accomplished after finishing my meal and leaving the restaurant.  Even though I work part-time, I usually spend my off-days running errands, cleaning, blogging, catching up with paperwork, etc…most of the time staying at home in my comfort zone.  I try to plan solo outings every once in awhile to reinforce my copings skills, so this week, I decided to take a break and enjoy an outing alone for at least a few hours with no responsibility and no to-do list except to explore downtown Ventura.  I remember the fun days of residency when my friends and I would explore random towns in Oregon, though I hardly get the opportunity to do the same since moving back to southern California (showing friends around Hollywood and all the LA touristy spots doesn’t count).

I’ve had several patients whom I’ve helped work through their symptoms of social anxiety and it’s always rewarding to hear them tell me about their recent outings.  So here’s a few pictures that I took from my solo outing this week:

{Shopping for a good cause}

{windy Ventura Pier selfie}

Thought of the Day:  If you struggle with anxiety, which techniques have you found helpful to overcome it?