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selfcare

Tips To Get Through Valentine’s Day With More Self-Love

The journey to incorporate more self-care can be tough, especially during a holiday known for spending and splurging on a significant other. Since I’ve written several blogposts on tips to survive Valentine’s Day (here & here), I decided to do something different and instead ask my wonderful social media friends/followers for some of their own tips to get through Valentine’s Day. And I was pleasantly surprised to find that each one consisted of more self-love and expression of love towards family members and close friends. The following is a list of their personal tips to make it a special day full of fun, love, and self-care:

1. Treat Yo Self

“Have an entire ‘treat yo self day.’ Think of your favorite meal and go eat it and do an activity you’ve been dying to try.” ~ @studentdoctornas

“I remind myself it’s just like any other day, but I buy myself two bouquets of flower and sometimes I take myself out to eat. But this year, it’s mid-week, so I don’t even care lol.” ~ Anonymous

2. Avoid Social Media

“…because you’ll probably make yourself miserable and jealous (been there done that) or take time to celebrate your love for your friends (Galentine’s Day, for example) or find solace in other single people who just want to have some company too!” ~ @abbyoooooo

3. Celebrate Galentine’s Day

“Doing stupid things with friends! Pick something you haven’t done before (new hiking spot, new dish to make, new movie to watch) and let yourselves have sad time (if needed), then laugh at silly penis jokes like a group of 5 year olds.” ~ @ashtstc

“…Have a get together with your gals that night – it’s super fun and you can talk about The Bachelor. Make it a potluck! It’s about self-care and also spreading love with your friends (doesn’t just have to be your spouse/boyfriend).” ~ @aroraborealis_

“Having a Galentine’s Day with my favorite girlfriends and enjoying each other’s friendship with good food and treats! Always fun to show friends how much I love them and to make EVERYONE feel loved and included!” ~ @scarvesandsweets

“Spend time with your single gal pals! Preferably going to watch a movie or having dinner. It’s not the best idea to meet up to talk about how “it’s terrible to be single.” Embrace the time you have to grow and learn more about yourself!” ~ @chasingmomentsphotoco

4. Celebrate What You’re Passionate About (with those who share the same passion)

“On Valentine’s Day I usually follow my regular routine (classes, studying), but this year I actually decided to meet some friends who are also practicing medicine. And we’re going to get ready and go out because medicine is romantic to us and we love it. There’s a bigger picture to it — Yes, it’s romantic for couples, but it’s also romantic for people who carry a greater passion for other things they love!” ~ @neuroskeptic

5. Volunteer Your Time To Help Others

“One of my best memories when I was single was to spend Valentine’s Day volunteering at a woman’s shelter or a nursing home to help those who may not always get the love and attention they deserve.” ~ @phportfolio

“Do something special for a stranger! I try to donate my hair to Locks of Love or Beautiful Lengths!” ~ @joannab2789

6. Don’t Wait For Flowers, Just Ask For It!

“I asked my dad to bring me flowers on Valentine’s Day.” ~ @thalia_kay

7. Celebrate Love That Already Exists Rather Than Pining For Something More

“I’m celebrating love in my life as it exists! Not romantic love, but love for friends, love for my puppy, etc.” ~ Anonymous

“My friends and I are getting all dressed up, eating cookies and pizza, and playing games together to celebrate our friendship and singleness. I think it’s a good way to turn Valentine’s Day into something you look forward to as a single person!” ~ @purcella92

8. Celebrate On A Budget

“We don’t do anything different than any other night. One year we bought a heart-shaped pizza, but we were already getting pizza anyway. Maybe it’s because we’re poor students/paying off loans, but we just don’t spend money on it. We buy discount chocolate afterwards!” ~ @portcitycaitlin

9. Make It A Positive Holiday, Even After A Divorce

“The first Valentine’s Day after my divorce I decided to make it a celebration of love in general, so I invited friends, both single and couples, to go celebrate our friendship. We went out for drinks, played pool, and had dinner. It was one of the best Valentine’s Days that I can recall! Key is to be grateful for who and what you do have in your life, so don’t focus on the negativity and sadness.” ~ @serratos114

10. Change Your Perspective

“It’s all about perspective. Dates like Valentine’s Day can seem like deadlines to meet and when you haven’t found your soulmate by the 14th, that can be unnecessarily rough! I don’t look at Valentine’s Day as a day for just relationships. It’s a day for all the people who you love and care for. I use the holiday to show appreciation to friends and family. That change in perspective has made a positive difference for me.” ~ @chrisrivi

If you’d like to add your own tips for Valentine’s Day, leave a comment below! And cheers to more self-care!

February 14, 2018 2 comments

Personal

Set Free

written by freudandfashion

{International Rose Test Garden, Portland, Oregon}

Okay, I’ll be honest. I’d much rather watch a documentary on Netflix (anyone have any suggestions?) and let my mind wander than write a blog post right now. Escaping to Oregon earlier this week for the first leg of my vacation provided a perfect combo of nostalgia, tranquility, and connection. Rather than psychoanalyze and process the impact that my trip had on my psyche (as I usually do in my posts), I’m instead going to reminisce and share pictures from my trip, which hopefully captures the essence of my time spent there. I still have one more week of vacation left, so if my writing doesn’t have as much structure and depth as usual, that’s because my writing is characteristic and reflective of my current, free-flowing state of mind.

{Washington Park, Portland, Oregon}

{Portland Japanese Garden}

{Yachats, Oregon}

{Devil’s Churn, Oregon}

July 18, 2015 15 comments

Personal

Reset, Recharge

written by freudandfashion

{Miami Beach, Florida}

I talk A LOT about mental health (in case you haven’t noticed), so I’ve appreciated the opportunity to put psychiatry-related thoughts aside for the last week while on vacation. And I haven’t psychoanalyzed one thing while in Florida, which is a record for me! I recognize how burned out I was getting, especially since I slept a whole lot during my first few days of vacation. In the past, I probably would’ve felt guilty about saying I was tired of talking about mental health, but sometimes taking a break from your interests and passions makes you appreciate them even more. I intend on using my final days of vacation to soak up more sun, take a boat ride along the bay, shop, enjoy delicious Cuban dishes, and anticipate feeling fully recharged by the time I return to work next week. Hope you have a relaxing weekend!

Beautiful lanterns at the Shore Club

June 6, 2015 10 comments

Lifestyle

Much Needed

written by freudandfashion

{Miami, Florida}

I’m constantly testing my limits as to how long I can continue working before I become extremely stressed-out and less pleasant to be around, which usually indicates I’m overdue for a vacation. When I scheduled my vacation months ago, I had a feeling I’d be overexerting myself having too large of a time gap in between breaks. Well, I definitely learned my lesson this time around (yet again). Part of self-awareness and good self-care is recognizing when you’re in need of a break. Therefore, for the next ten days, I’ll be catching up with some much needed sleep, laying out on the beach, and doing nothing work-related. Next week I plan to head to Miami, which is the city I fondly remember as providing the most fun during my medical school elective rotations. Actually, I do have one task: learning how to use Snapchat and hopefully posting snaps during my vacation (if you’re on Snapchat, add me @freudandfashion and follow me on my journey towards wellness, balance, and self-care!).

Have a wonderful weekend!

May 30, 2015 14 comments

Personal

Home Sweet Home

written by freudandfashion

{Fairfield, California}

As a fledgling adult who moved away from home for college then medical school, my family often made trips to visit me, especially to drop off or prepare a home-cooked meal (I lived 30 minutes away from home for college and 7 hours away for medical school). Now that I’ve completed all my training, I return the favor for all the support I received and visit them in northern California as often as I can (except I’m not the best cook, so my family probably prefers that I NOT make the home-cooked meals). I am currently staying at my parents’ place this weekend for a mini family reunion and feel pretty excited that I get to reunite with family members visiting from the Philippines whom I haven’t seen in years (and apparently there’s a boxing match everyone’s watching tonight). We all have our own priorities in life and at one point my education and career took precedence over family, but I learned my lesson after missing out on numerous momentous events. Having a lucrative career can bring a sense of satisfaction, but true happiness can’t be attained unless balanced with those who support you the most.

I hope you have a balanced weekend!

May 2, 2015 11 comments

Personal therapy

Let Go

written by freudandfashion

{Ventura, California}

Several of my readers know how much I struggle with self-care and criticize myself on days that I feel less productive (I wrote about the subject here, here, and here). I’m starting to let go of the guilty, judgmental thoughts, which I’m sure are ingrained in the minds of many others like myself who’ve spent most of their lives incessantly working towards a degree and busy career. Last month, I disclosed to one of my patients that I sometimes sit on the couch and watch tv for hours on days I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. I regretted telling her the information because I realized my attempt to make her feel less guilty about doing a similar “lazy” regimen was really an attempt to validate my own actions of simply resting on my days off. I realized how much I still need to work on letting go. I need to let go of the pressures, demands, guilt, and self-criticism.

Well, I’m happy to report that I went to the beach this week, strolled, and stared out at the water as the surfers rode the waves. The thought of rushing home to answer emails popped up in my head a few times, but I surprisingly allowed myself to let the thoughts go. I’ve been working on this process of self-care for years, but I’m making progress. And that’s all that matters (no self-criticism involved).

What activities of self-care did you incorporate this week? I hope you all have a wonderful, relaxing weekend!

April 10, 2015 12 comments

Lifestyle Personal

Thankful Thursdays – Time Off

written by freudandfashion

{Fairfield, California}

Time off from work couldn’t have arrived at a better time. It has been awhile since I wrote my last “Thankful Thursdays” post (see previous ones here and here), so I think it’s appropriate to write one given my current state of mind (which is more relaxed and centered). My vacation started off with a quick, last minute trip to visit my family in northern California, which is usually my preferred travel destination each time I get the urge to feel more rooted and have the need to reset. During a stroll with my sister, I realized the grassy hilltops are gorgeous landscapes that I’ve taken for granted ever since my family first moved to the area when I was in junior high. For some reason, the lush hills appeared immaculate and majestic this time around. I enjoyed reuniting with family visiting from the Philippines, tasting my mom’s traditional filipino dishes, and playing card games with my cousins and siblings. I truly savored my brief stay.

Currently, I am sitting in a hotel lobby located in the flourishing city of Scottsdale, Arizona. I stare outside at the backdrop of pristine mountains, pale blue skies streaked with thinly layered clouds, and adobe fountains and fixtures at the forefront. Everything seems extremely tangible – from the texture of the furniture to the warmth of the sun hitting my face. While attending a conference, I am also aware of the numerous psychiatry and neurology residents here preparing to take their board exams tomorrow, as they lay out by the pool with heads buried in flashcards and exam prep books.

“I remember being in your same position two years ago,” I said to one of the girls who studied while lounging on the chair next to me. All I could remember from that day two years ago was memorizing the diagnostic criteria for various psychiatric diagnoses, the treatment for alcohol and drug withdrawal, etc. I never would have imagined noticing the simplistic, yet characteristic details of the locale like I am able to observe now. Fortunately, I passed the horrific test, yet I reflect on the past and a part of me wishes I was more mindful of the details from that experience. However, as the saying goes, “better late than never.”

Photo by Marlon Santos

March 12, 2015 6 comments

Personal

Weekend Reflection

written by freudandfashion

{Ventura Pier, CA}

In order to take charge of my life after a stressful week, I made the decision to temporarily cut back on certain responsibilities. In the past, I rarely said “no” to projects or other opportunities, however, as I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been extremely overwhelmed and need some time to regroup. Though it’s difficult, especially if you’re someone who people rely on (especially if you’re the caregiver type), setting boundaries with people and activities is a healthy way to cope and manage your life. I’ve never met anyone who devotes a huge percentage of their energies on work and everyone else BUT themselves without getting burned out. However, if you have mastered the art of life balance, please message me. I’d love to know your secret.

Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend filled with relaxation and self-care!

March 8, 2015 19 comments

Personal therapy

Sticking To It

written by freudandfashion

{midweek hike in Malibu Creek State Park}

My “Monday Motivation” consists of posting my continued efforts to maintain my New Year’s goals for 2015. I truly appreciate all of you because you’re part of my support system — you’re helping me hold myself accountable to stick with these goals! I can’t emphasize enough how important self-care is to maintain a sense of well-being, which is the reason my last few posts have been dedicated to the topic. Most of my patients struggle with the same issue, which leads to burnout, increased stress, uncontrolled anxiety, worsened health, and much more. The photos in my post are proof of my activities from last week, and serve as my motivation to continue this week. If you’d like to join me in my efforts to prioritize self-care, would love for you to share how you’ve been doing so thus far!

{Took a REAL lunch break & caught up with celeb gossip and world news}/ {went to two amazing yoga classes, even though I was initially too lazy to go and wanted to back out (pic taken before class)}

{Took a stroll on the beach of Playa Del Rey after my weekend therapy session}

January 27, 2015 11 comments

therapy

Restful Week

written by freudandfashion

Have you ever felt guilty about having an unproductive week? That’s how I initially felt regarding this week, but in retrospect, I believe it was necessary to take it easy.

To be easier on myself (which is difficult for a self-critical person like me), I had to keep in mind two of my goals for 2015 (which I discussed in my previous post):

be mindful
be aware of my need for self-care

I felt ill this week and wanted to sleep most of the days, and therefore, couldn’t complete most of my tasks. However, I needed to listen to my body and its need for rest and recovery, whereas in the past, I’d push myself to go to the gym and stay up late until I completed everything on my to-do list. I also had insightful, yet emotionally-draining group and individual psychotherapy sessions, which resulted in me not wanting to write a blog post due to how much thought and psychological overtones I put into my posts. Yet, this is a pattern that has occurred in the past since I first started blogging in 2010, which resulted in large gaps between posts. I am trying to avoid those large gaps this time around and want to let you all know of the reason I’m late with this weekly posting.

What made me feel better was reading statements such as “it’s okay to not be okay,” which is definitely true, however, society makes you feel as if you have to be running on all cylinders ALL OF THE TIME. Which is fine, as long as you take necessary breaks and don’t wear yourself out. However, we are all human, and I often try to help my patients overcome barriers towards being less judgmental on themselves.

As you can see, I’m trying to take my own advice 🙂

January 18, 2015 7 comments

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